To be authentic in relationship requires commitment and courage
For many people this is a life long quest. It is the ever changing journey of self-discovery and is done in the context of another person, an intimate love.
Intimacy is about being seen, being vulnerable. It is about sharing one’s self with another in all kinds of contexts and circumstances and sometimes this is under pressure. There might be pressure to reach agreement or to please another.
It might be in the context of decisions needing to be made quickly, the day-to-day ordinary stuff! We are all assessing many things all the time and we weigh balances and trade-offs, the need to compromise v’s the need to assert ourselves or push hard against resistance, real or potential or imagined.
We may give in for years before we realize what we have been doing. We may leave one relationship and endeavor not to make the same compromises of ourselves in the next one. Whatever trade-offs we make there comes a point where we say: how do I feel about this? Am I being true to myself?
To be authentic in relationship requires commitment and courage. It requires a capacity for and commitment to self-reflection. With that mind-set then we forge forward. It’s a bit like being a warrior for truth in your own life! By committing to endeavor to know one’s self first then one is in a better position to know how and when to share important truths, the most important truth about who one is. To be authentic in relationship brings relief. It is a huge burden to be inauthentic in relationship.
Knowing one’s boundaries is pivotal here: to discern when to speak when to have self-restraint and when to be silent. For remaining silent sometimes can be a powerful time to reflect and gather wisdom which may usher forth moves in authenticity. Being authentic isn’t always about speaking up although it can be.
Wisdom and authenticity are soul mates. Patience too is an important quality to cultivate in developing the capacity for authenticity so that one can pause long enough to take in the whole situation, looking beyond the surface of things with compassion. Finally, it helps to ask the question: what do I feel here and to inquire into this over and over as the truth continues to emerge and unfold.
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