The mind loves comparisons! It gives it something to fix on. It also loves to have problems to solve and to be in a state of wanting.
Have you noticed your mind can be lost for hours in wanting things to be different from how they really are? When we add to this the tendency we all have to compare ourselves with others we know we can get ourselves into a position of feeling inadequate and lacking in whatever it is we are comparing ourselves about.
At the root of this is often envy and a feeling of not being good enough. We may know it goes nowhere and that we only end up feeling miserable if we wallow in this, but it doesn’t seem to help.
How do we stop going down this road to nowhere?
The trick is to be mindful.
To become aware is the greatest first step. When you notice and observe that your mind is getting caught up in this old trap again, you can simply pause and gently bring your attention back to what is going on in the present moment. Take a breath and sense inwards to the moment at hand. You may feel grateful for this breath and for this moment in your life. You may be able to sense into your body and become aware of different sensations.
The practice of mindfulness increases our awareness and our capacity to notice when we are caught in stories or other unhelpful patterns.
You may sense inwards and notice feelings that you have. These may be feelings of joy or of discomfort. If you are comparing yourself you will most likely be feeling frustration and lack.
Welcome it all anyway and accept what is going on right now and know that things will not stay the same.
Knowing that now is what is but also that things will change, it’s a universal law, everything passes, gives you space to unhook from any stories of lack or limitation that are running your life. You can still enjoy imagining how great it will feel when you have what you desire, say, a loving relationship, a job you love, money for nice holidays or whatever it is. But this is different from wanting what others have and feeling bad because they have it and you don’t. Instead feel happy for them and enjoy imagining what it will be like when you too have created what you want.
Contact me for a free 10 minute chat to see how I can help you use mindfulness to reduce feelings of limitation, lack and envy in your life.
For more tips, check out the rest of the article here.