Couples counselling takes a holistic approach in making the primary focus of the therapy on the relationship, rather than solely on the individuals in the partnership. Couples therapy can help you and your partner sort out your problems and build a strong relationship. It can also help you fine-tune a good relationship to make it better.
Whether you are in the middle of a crisis, moving through an arduous transition time, or discovering unpleasant behaviors—couples therapy can be a tremendous source of support, strength and growth.
Couples therapy will enable you to learn new skills which are essential to building and maintaining a rewarding and mutually beneficial partnership. Having a highly trained and objective third party helps you work through anger, resentment or frustration, and get to workable solutions. My greatest pleasure is seeing couples emerge from a difficult situation feeling more intimate and committed than they ever thought possible.
When undergoing couples counselling it may seem that your “relationship” is the “client” as you, your partner, and I work together to determine what your goals are within your relationship. In the work we do together we will also be on the lookout for other feelings or experiences that are being “brought into” the relationship. We will look at patterns that show up between you, as well as other internal and external experiences that impact the relationship.
In couples work it is possible to explore how we, unconsciously, choose a partner who reflects back the very things that we must “work on.”
The inevitable conflicts that arise in relationships are actually ways to explore what you, yourself, can start healing. Your partner becomes a “mirror” of sorts, reflecting back what is in your subconscious world.
Partners are encouraged to examine how communication styles, or “attachment” experiences present themselves in their current communication and interactions. You may be asking, why is communication so important? A good partnership, it is often said, is not one without problems; it’s one that can work through the problems. And this is where communication plays an important role. Couples counselling teaches the skills of learning to manage differences, to negotiate through conflict, and to repair where breakdown and dissonance occurs. Couples will also learn to improve their relationship by learning to regulate their emotions, stay calm, and use healthy communication skills so that new problems and old problems can finally be resolved.